In my twenties I surrendered my weight for a while. It was so exhausting having to count every calorie. I wasn't happy. And so I started eating what I wanted to, anytime I wanted to. I convinced myself that dating wasn't necessary. I hadn't dated much and was tired of hoping. So instead, Friday nights became dates with myself night. These nights included two or three chick flicks, a bag of chocolate (usually reeses peanut butter cup minatures were my choice) and some type of fast food. I truly thought I was happy. Obviously these actions are not one of a happy person. But it wasn't until I started going to weight watchers that I figured this out.
How did I get to weight watchers?
In 2000, my family took a trip to Las Vegas. I noticed i was a tight fit on the plane and was uncomfortable with that. But that wasn't made me choose to go to ww. After a week of indulging at buffets, the moment of truth came on the ride home. ON the plane ride home, I went to the washroom. I noticed a woman that was obviously too big for her seat. I felt bad for her. But I felt worse when I returned from the washroom. In the galley, I saw an old couple arguing with a handsome steward about their seats. They were demanding that this woman needed two seats and that she should pay for them. Now I felt really bad for this woman. She did take an aisle seat, in her defence. But what astounded me was the attitude of this steward. HE was clearly angry. But he was angry at this couple. He told them that she had paid her fare just like they did and they would hve to return to their seats. At that moment, I swore to myself I would never been in the position of that woman.
That being said, I never really thought I would lose weight. I had no idea how much my weight was and after years of struggling, I didn't think anything could help me. But it did, in two years I lost 60 lbs before hitting a plateau. But for the last ten years I have been in and out of weight watchers and have been going up in weight in the past three.
So now I am in a country, where i am unhappy and unable to get the foods that would help me lose weight. I am in a country where there are bakeries on eveyr corner and the calorie content of their milk is quite high.
I am frustrated. I have increased my workouts and nothing seems to be working. So now I am writing this blog in a way to vent my frustration out in a healthy way instead of turning to food.
So far, I have cut out dining out ( much to my fiance's chagrin) and reduce my chocolate eating.
I am trying to surrender my previous knowledge of the Weight Watchers program so that I can admit I cannot do it alone and that I do not know it all. These two truths prevent me from being successful. So I have been thinking a lot about filling foods and really becoming in tune wiht my body. I have problems sleeping and have been eating at nights, before I am fully awake and knowing what I am doing. NOw when I wake up, I sit for a minute, go to the bathroom, and take a drink. HOping this delay will help prevent me from stuffing my face. I also think about how full I am. I realize now that cereal and a banana can be satisfying. That my lunch doesn't have to be big and a salad can be fun.
So today, officially weighed in and going to start on this journey, even though I hav ebeen with weight watchers online for months, its time to start fresh.
My current weight 211.8 lbs.
What I have eaten today:
breakfast: 30g frosted flakes and 125 mg fat free milk 3 points
banana 1
fiber donut 2.5
snack popcorn 2 points
lunch chicken salad with 56g of canned chicken 1 point
3 bananas 3 points
dinner egg and cheese omelette (1 egg, 1 slice fat free cheese) 3 points
salad
My activity: 30 min on stationary bike in the morning.
30 min on stationary bike in afternoon.
some dancing with wii game in the evening or walking.
It would be nice if anyone reading this could comment or give support. I am used to doing everything on my own and I realized that I fail when I don't surrender that control and ask for help.
Thank you.
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